Introduction

The Tools of Business

The Tools of business is a book about the idiots that we have come across in the course of daily business. These characters stick out in our minds as the reason that the American way of life is completely jeopardized. They come in all shapes and sizes, from diverse backgrounds, different social classes and have one thing in common. They are bad for business.

My wonderful brother and editor, Joe, said I should explain what I mean by the term tool. So in compliance with my editor, here it is. Webster defines the word tool thusly: 1. An implement, esp. one held in the hand, as a hammer, saw, file, etc. for performing or facilitating mechanical operations. When used figuratively of human agency, TOOL is generally used in a contemptuous sense. I would think that my personal definition slants more towards the latter than the former. The tools of which I will write were a hindrance to business, not a help. The only thing that they remind me of is the tool that most men use to relieve the bladder, amongst other things.

These people have another thing in common. If they were our managers, we quit. If they were our employees, they got fired, pushed out or ended up quitting. If they were our business partners, they were either bought out or left behind to wallow in their own uselessness. However, they did leave some things behind. Great stories about how they ruined business relationships or stories that entertain and amuse our friends and families. We can laugh now, but in the heat of doing business, they were not laughing matters, usually.

There have been so many of these characters that it is difficult to narrow down the field. We had a plethora of candidates for the book, so you are getting the best of the best. They came to us in various career paths, so you will get a diverse sprinkling. Restaurants, Automotive companies, Foodservice, Instrumentation builders, writers and many more. Sit back and enjoy the fun. A lot of these are my personal experiences, however there are some tools that I never had the pleasure of meeting, but the left indelible marks on friends and family, not to mention great stories for us to share.